One of my favorite topics this year at MSA East Zone Conference was a lecture delivered by Mawlana Omar on Ithar.

Ithar: selflessness, placing the well-being of your brother over yours.  Mawlana described it as “placing others before yourself”.  The Prophet (pbuh) said: None of you will have faith until he wishes for his brother what he likes for himself. [Muslim]

This is one of the hardest noble character traits to embody; one who has it has definitely attained a high station with God.  True Ithar is rare.  A sign is the ability to give to others what one loves, such as a favorite robe, food, and even a spouse!  Mawlana Omar gave several examples of the sahabas (companions of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)) and the Prophet (pbuh) displaying Ithar.

The best Ithar is to give something away that you strongly love, so that the action actually brings you pain.

Mawlana Omar said that the salik (seeker) has no rights.  This is similar to my last post: we are nothing, and are deserving of nothing, yet Allah expends on us immensely.  Therefore we should be freely able to give to others what rightfully does not belong to us.

Mawlana Omar also said that there is no love bond as strong as the one that exists between Allah and the Prophet Muhammad(pbuh). Yet the Prophet is willing to sacrifice his time with Allah to wait for all the people in his Ummah to enter Paradise before he himself enters.  This is real Ithar.  This also means that the Prophet will have to wait until all conflicts, arguments, and problems are dealt with and resolved between his followers.  So Mawlana Omar said (paraphrased by me):  “Why won’t you forgive all those who wronged you so that the prophet will not have to endure this distance from His Beloved?  If we truly loved the Prophet, then we would be willing to forgive others so that he could enter paradise sooner.” SubhanAllah!

When I came back from the conference, my good friend posted a beautiful gem on her FB.  It was the story of Abdullah ibn Omar (RA), the son of Omar ibn Al-Khattab (RA)–a man known for his great love for Islam and the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).  The former used to love a slave-girl named Rumaysaa’ who he wanted to free and marry.  However, when Abdullah ibn Omar heard the Prophet say “None of you will have faith until he wishes for his brother what he likes for himself,” he freed Rumaysaa’, and married her to his friend, Naafi!  Imagine the sacrafice he was willing to undergo in order to embody the advice of the Prophet: Ithar.  SubhanAllah.

Mawlana Omar said similar stories like this at EZ, but for some reason this story really touched me.  It made me realize that I am really lacking in Ithar.