Category / Pain & Tribulations

To the Muhsin, the World is Perfect February 5, 2010 at 11:48 pm

Someone said to me lately, “If you are serious about Sufism, the world is perfect the way it is.  It’s a mirror.  It’s only your own imperfection you are seeing.”

I was complaining, and my friend said that complaints are only a result of my weaknesses and misjudgment of God’s wisdom.

Someone also said, “What is Tasawwuf?  Finding happiness in the heart upon the arrival of grief.”  Every sorrow and difficulty that one undergoes in the dunya is a window into a future happiness in Paradise, God-willing.  The difficulty may also be a part of a training process Allah wants us to pass.  This way we become stronger in our character and faith.

Tasawwuf is the most difficult science in Islam.  The most difficult, but the most rewarding. :)

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, Defeating the Ego, Pain & Tribulations by Hifzin114 /
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Qad Kafaani October 31, 2009 at 7:53 am

This is one of the most beautiful Qasidas I learned at the Rihla.  It is a poem that was written by Imam Al Haddad (May God grant him peace in his grave and honor him with Paradise).

Chorus:

*My Lord’s knowledge has sufficed me
from asking or choosing
Qad Kafaani ‘Ilmu Rabbi
Min su Alee Wakhtiyaari

For my du’a and my agonising supplication
is a witness to my poverty.
Faa do ‘aa ii Wabtihali
Shaahidun li Bif ti Qaa ri*

End Chorus

For this secret (reason) I make supplication
in times of ease and times of difficulty
Faa li hatha sirri ad ‘uu
Fii Ya saa rii wa ‘a saa rii

I am a slave whose pride
is in his poverty and obligation.
Ana abdun Saa ra Fakhri
Dim na Faq ree Wad tiraarii

*Chorus*

O my Lord and my King
You know my state.
Ya Ilahi Wa maliki
Anta Ta’lam Kayfa Halii

And what has settled in my heart
of agonies and preoccupations.
Wa bi maa qad Hala Qal bee
Min hu moo mi washtighalee

Save me with a gentleness
from You, O Lord of Lords.
Fata da Rak nee bi lutfin
Min ka yaa Mow lal Ma wa lii

Oh save me, Most Generous
before I run out of patience (with myself)
Ya kareem mal waj hi ghith nee
Qab la a-Yaf Nas ti baa ree

*Chorus*

O One who is swift in sending aid
I ask for aid that will arrive to me swiftly
Ya Saree ‘al Ghowthi Ghowtha
Min Ka Yud rik Ni suree a

It will defeat all difficulty
and it will bring all that I hope for
Yah Zimul Usrawa Ya ti
Bilathi narjuu Jamee ‘aa

O Near One Who answers
and All-Knowing and All-Hearing
Ya Qareeban Ya Mujeeban
Ya ‘Aleeman Ya Samee’an

I have attained realization through my incapacity,
my submission and my brokenness
Qad Tahaqaq Tuu be aj zee
Wa Khudoo ‘ii Wan kisaaree

I am still standing by the door, so please my Lord
have mercy on my standing.
Lam Azal bil Babi wa Qif
Far Haman Rabbi Wu kuufi

And in the valley of generosity, I am in i’tikaf (solitary retreat)
So, Allah, make my retreat here permanent.
Wa bi waadil Fadli ‘Aa Qif
Fa a dim Rabbi U koofi

And I’m abiding by good opinion (of You)
For it is my friend and ally.
Wali husnil Zanee lazim
Wa huwa khilee wa haleefi

And it is the one that sits by me and keeps me company
All day and night.
Wa aneesi wa jaleesi
Toola layli wanahaari

*Chorus*

There is a need in my soul, O Allah
so please fulfil it, O Best of Fulfillers
Haajatan fin Nafsi Ya Rabb
Faq di Hayaa Khayra Qaadi

And comfort my secret and my heart
from its burning and its shrapnel
Wa ahrih sir Ree wa Qalbi
Min Laza Ha Wa shuwazi

In pleasure and in happiness
and as long as You are pleased with me
Fi surooriw Wa hubooriw
Wa itha ma kuntu Raadii

For joy and expansion is my state
and my motto and my cover.
Fal hanna wal Bas ti haali
Wa shi ‘aaree Wa di thaaree

*Chorus*

My Lord’s knowledge has sufficed me
from asking or choosing
Qad Kafaani ‘Ilmu Rabbi
Min su Alee Wakhtiyaari

Posted in: Pain & Tribulations, Poetry by Hifzin114 / Tags:

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“The stronger wind…the tougher trees…” September 13, 2009 at 12:48 pm

“The tree that never had to fight
For sun and sky and air and light,
That stood out in the open plain
And always got its share of rain,
Never became a forest king,
But lived and died a scrubby thing…
Good timber does not grow in ease.
The stronger wind, the tougher trees…”

–Douglas Mallock

Hardship is a means of salvation on the Day of Judgement, InshAllah.  It may not seem like it at first, but tribulations makes you stronger.

Another thing I learned: this world is really not worth it.
Just aim to get into Jannah (Paradise)…once you are there…that’s where the party begins. Think of this world as the 9-5 job shift, and death the release from the job at 5 PM. The barzakh is the time it takes for you to get home…and finally your home is your eternal destination (hopefully in Paradise).
SubhanAllah.

InshAllah we will all one day be able to say, “Ah! There is nothing like home! Home sweet home!”

Posted in: Pain & Tribulations, Poetry by Hifzin114 /
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The Soul as a Temptress June 30, 2009 at 12:13 pm

My good friend Jafrin sent this to me and I had to post it:

“The soul is a temptress and loves to look at beautiful forms and the eye is the guide of the heart. The heart commissions its guide to go and look to see what is there and when the eye informs it of a beautiful image it shudders out of love and desire for it. Frequently such inter-relations tire and wear down both the heart and the eye as it is said:

When you sent your eye as a guide for your heart one day, the object of sight fatigued you for you saw one over whom you had no power neither a portion or in totality, instead you had to be patient.”

~ Imam Ibn ul Qayyim al Jawziyyah, rahimullah (May God’s Mercy be upon him)

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, Love, Pain & Tribulations by Hifzin114 / Tags: ,

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Battle Between Heart and Mind June 17, 2009 at 10:17 am

This is the most painful battle on earth.  It seems that no matter how hard I try to reason with my heart, to tell it to stop hurting and worrying over trivial matters…it continues to resonate with pain.  I basically walk around with a random pain in my chest.  My mind is perfectly fine and I can study, but then the pain in my chest is so bothersome that I lose focus easily.  I must have some sort of spiritual disease.  Yesterday I even took a tylenol tablet, but the cause of my pain is not a medical/bodily one, its an emotional one.  I’ve had this pain once before.

My mom sent me this beautiful article on Dhikr by Shaykh Yasir Qadhi–I really liked it:

http://muslimmatters.org/2009/06/12/yasir-qadhi-khutbah-transcript-blessings-of-dhikr/

I liked the passage, “a sign of true life, a sign of spiritual life, a sign of real life is that you need the Giver of life.”

Shaykh Yasir said that dhikr will protect you from your own desires.

He also said that ‘hisnul haseen’ means protective fortress..who would have thought?  If you know me, you will understand why I get a kick out of this phrase. :)

There was one part where he said it is better to perform dhikr that the Prophet (pbuh) himself did on a daily basis, rather than the dhikr of someone else (such as a Wird).  I think it’s important to mention, that most Wirds (if not all), contain Dhikr that comes straight from the Quran and Sunnah.  For example, the Wird of Imam Al Haddad contains Dhikr from the Quran and ahadeeth*.   It was just compiled in a certain order that Imam Al Haddad wanted his students to learn and recite them in.

*ahadeeth-plural of hadith

Posted in: Pain & Tribulations by Hifzin114 / Tags: , ,

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Tests of Love :) June 6, 2009 at 7:30 pm

I had an epiphany today and I only have a few minutes to post, so I shall be quick:

When we love somebody, sometimes we test that person with difficult situations to see how much they actually love us. Like a girl might say, “What if I had leukemia/cancer, would you still love me then?” Sometimes the girl might pretend to be going through a predicament (or might actually share a real one) just to see if the guy is caring enough to help her through it.  If the girl wants to join Doctors without Borders or pursue an outrageous ambition, and the guy refuses to compromise on that basis (and the ambition is halal), obviously he doesn’t love her enough to allow her the time and space to do what means so much to her.  Maybe the girl will display her weaknesses, to see if the guy is willing to overlook them.  And what if the girl got into a car accident, lost her ability to walk, and has to use a wheelchair permanently…would the guy still love her then?  What if the girl’s father is unbearably impatient and will not allow the guy to marry his daughter until he has a stable career and house?  Will the guy be willing to wait?  This works vice versa in the perspective of the guy, as well.

Parents test their children, teachers test their students, and married couples test each other throughout marriage.

So what does this mean?  I realized that God does the same to us!  He sends tribulations and trials to test our love for Him and how much we are willing to sacrafice for His sake.  If we give up on God and faith, it’s like the guy who gives up on the girl because she has an impatient father…he is not willing to wait and be patient for good later.

Each person has their own struggle, their own tribulation.  Some are longer than others, some last years, some last seconds.  Some fall into the trap that God is angry with us, or doesn’t care, or is being unmerciful.  Yet we forget that God is sending us these trials out of His LOVE for us, and His willingness to test how well we return love back to Him.

Few minutes is up.  Back to work.  I pray Allah shortens our tribulations and lengthens our pleasures. :)

On another note, my friend Jafrin told me something really interesting.  Imam Abu Hanifa had a student…Abu Yusuf…who used to pray Asr (mid prayer of the day) during the earlier time period…the same earlier time that the followers of Imam Shafi pray in…interesting, eh?

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, General, Love, Pain & Tribulations by Hifzin114 / Tags:

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Teardrop May 11, 2009 at 4:05 pm

This teardrop that falls down my cheek.
Originated from an image.
That filled my vision.
Which sped fast to my heart.
Which went to my mind for a check-up.

Alas! It failed my intellect!
My heart longs for what my mind avoids!
This inner tug-of-war has resulted.
In a heart that aches, a mind that thinks.
And tears that fall.

Then a wise man on the road,
His glasses shimmering in the heat of thought
Said to me with concern on his brow
The burning you feel in your heart…
Target it to God!  To God!
Whatever beauty you see in temporal forms, is within God…
And He is reachable to all!
Ache for what you can have!  Aim for Eternal Meaning!

My heart, dumbfounded and amazed,
Slowly gave in to the wise man.
Yes! She cried, to the mind and to God.

Though the heart promised to change.
The struggle persists.
“It may be that this temporal form
Is a path to God.”

Time is running out, uncertainty prevails.
But in the end, If I lose out on the form.
I can never lose out on finding Him,
Unless death takes me by surprise.

God is my companion
Whether I gain the form or not.
I will never be alone.
The heart smiles.  The mind meditates.
Peace.

If you are unfortunate enough to have come across this post, I apologize for the weirdness. This is what happens during finals week. :)

Posted in: General, Pain & Tribulations, Poetry by Hifzin114 / Tags: ,

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Independence from Others. Tawakkal (Trust) in God March 22, 2009 at 3:14 pm

A friend once quoted to me a gem from a scholar: “Get used to loneliness, because afflictions arise with people.”

Sometimes people hurt you.  Sometimes the pain is inconceivable.  Once I had an emotional pain that turned into a physical pain; it was so strange.  I was ready to move on, forgive and forget, but something in me did not want to let the pain go.  It’s truly strange.  Your mind is ready to move on, but the pain in your heart remains.  Your mind tries to reason with your heart, but the heart refuses to listen.

In reality, this pain is a blessing from Allah.  He wants us to cry out to Him for help; He wants to drive us away from people and towards Himself.

Once when I was going through a rough situation, I wrote this journal entry:

“Trust should only be placed on Allah.  Never leave your home hoping to find salvage and peace with others, the irony is that you are leaving the very place that can unite you with your Lord—the privacy of your own bedroom.  Need someone to cry to?  Wake up in the last third of the night and cry to Allah.  Need someone to consult with, talk to, vent to, sing to (I’m not joking), show love to?  Wake up and express yourself to Allah.  Allah is the origin of all beauty and pleasure.  Is there something in your best friend that you just can’t fathom and enjoy being in their company because of this “special” quality?  Guess what, Allah has this quality…and even more!  He has this quality infinitely.  The BEST thing about consulting and revealing your secrets to Allah is that he is the BEST secret keeper.  Humans are imperfect when it comes to keeping secrets and amanas (trusts).”

One of the greatest lessons I learned is to place full trust in God.  Sometimes we get excited, and immediately want to relay things to others.  But we should control our excitement, and immediately want to relay things to Allah.  We should cry out to Allah when we want to rid our chest of worries.  We should seek out Allah when we need advice.  And if we really need the advice of others, we should clearly dictate our intentions: to God, to ourselves, and to the advisor.

My mom told me once that it is not good to have an ultimate *best* friend, because if there is any conflict, the pain will be harder to overcome.  In Islam we must have moderation.  We should not rely on others excessively for companionship and ease, but neither should we cast people off.  Our most enjoyable companionship and ease should be with God.  If we find it with others, we should never let it overpower our relationship with God, nor should we fail to realize that the joy we find with others is a manifestation of the Ultimate Joy we seek in God.

If one lacks depth in his/her relationship with God, than he/she will seek it out in others.  Dependence on others is an indication of one’s station with God.

A good hadith that is relevant to the topic:

It was narrated that Anas [May God preserve him] said that the Prophet [pbuh] said:

Whoever is mainly concerned about the Hereafter, Allah will make him feel independent of others and will make him focused and content, and his worldly affairs will fall into place.  But whoever is mainly concerned with this world, Allah will make him feel in constant need of others and will make him distracted and unfocused, and he will get nothing of this world except what is decreed for him.  (narrated by al-Tirmidhi, Hadith No. 2389)

(Source: al-Fawaa’ id, page 159)

And beautiful poetry from Ibn Ata’illah:

“He only made afflictions come at the hands of people
so that you not respond to them.
He wants to drive you out from everything
so that nothing would divert you from Him.”

“Appeal to no one but Him to relieve you of a pressing need
that He himself has brought upon you.
For how can someone else remove what He has imposed?
And how can he who is unable to free himself of a pressing need
free someone else of one?”

“When He alienates you from His creatures,
then know that He wants
to open for you the door of intimacy with Himself.”

(Source: Ibn Ata’illah’s Al Hikam [Book of Wisdoms])

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, Friendship, Pain & Tribulations by Hifzin114 / Tags: , ,

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Precious Pain February 9, 2009 at 7:08 am

This pain that lurches from the unknown future and past.
Is a leash that binds me to my Lord.
A pain of mercy; lessons learned that will last.
That beautifies the mind and grants me a sword.

A weapon of inner charisma and newfound strength.
I can tackle the future with a secret trust.
Humanity is flawed, a heart of short length.
But the mercy of my Lord is expanse and full-thrust.

This trust beckons a  new start with my Lord.
Yes, I confide in You now, only You!
I will battle the evil forces with the sword.
And at night, to You, I’ll expose all that is true!

Run away from You to humans I shall not.
Humans don’t help, they worsen, in fact.
In open arms I’ll call…sing out to You all that I sought!
I’ll fall asleep under Your gaze, satisfied with Your love-pack.

Posted in: Pain & Tribulations, Poetry by Hifzin114 / Tags:

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