Girl with a Pearl Drum

I got this from http://questforthedivine.blogspot.com/.  Love that blog!

The Prophet (pbuh) was sitting with four of his companions (ra) — Abu Bakr, Omar, Othman and Ali.  The topic of discussion was what three things each loved most in this world.  The Prophet (pbuh) answered first.  His three were perfume, women, and prayer.  Then he asked this same question of each of the companions.  This is what they picked.

Abu Bakr: Looking at the Prophet’s face (pbuh), making salawat on the Prophet (pbuh), and giving money to charity

Omar: Advising people, stopping wrongdoing, and saying the truth even if it’s hard

Othman: Cooking and giving people food, saying salaam to others, and making the night prayer when everyone is asleep

Ali: Fasting in summer, taking care of guests, and using the sword to defend the Prophet (pbuh)

Then Jibril came to the Prophet (pbuh) and revealed the three things that he loved most.  They were coming with the message to the world, coming to the Prophet (pbuh), and saying “alhamdulillah.”

Finally, Jibril told the Prophet this. “Allah sends you salaams and to the sahaba. Allah loves these three things: a tongue always in dhikr, a heart that’s grateful, and a body that’s tested but patient.”

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, General, Love by Hifzin114 /
1 Comment

This is a huge topic that I could write about.  But I just wanted to post this passage  and reflect on it quickly.  It was written by a Muslim in jail…and he is being thankful for the blessings that he has been given there.  He then expresses his new-filled value of the blessings people encounter on a daily basis outside of jail:

“Despite the fact that this is a maximum security facility and the restrictions are at times cumbersome, I really do not have much I can complain about. I have a place to sleep, three meals a day, and I can pray whenever I want in peace. I can think of millions of people around the world who cannot claim the same luxuries. On top of that, one sometimes needs a place like this to achieve clarity of mind. So, as the cliché goes, this has been a blessing in disguise in that I’ve been able to benefit from various aspects of incarceration that would ordinarily seem undesirable. I can only think of the countless imprisoned Muslims in the jails of tyrants around the globe and hope that if it is not Allah’s Decree to free them in the near future, that they taste the sweetness that Allah has placed them in prison to taste… May Allah free our sisters sooner than all…

I would like to end this letter by reminding all who read it to realize what you have been blessed with before it is taken from you: the warm hug of a loved one, the company of righteous people, the ability to see the sun and moon, a breath of fresh air, praying in a mosque, hearing the Qur’an recited, reading a good book of your choosing, taking a shower with clean water whenever you feel like, even something as simple as being able to open a door and walk out of a room! If there is one lesson that everybody can learn in here – be they Muslim or kafir – that is to take the initiative to appreciate the value of the luxuries you are blessed with before they are taken from under your nose. We hear this in every khutbah but one unfortunately cannot truly appreciate this advice until all these delights of life are out of reach, in actuality. (I highly suggest Cummings’ ‘The Enormous Room‘ in this regard, if you can find a copy, where he describes, in candid detail, life in a French prison camp stripped of all the material possessions that were once within easy grasp.) Indeed, prison only makes the Muslim stronger…”

I have often thought about this.  This idea of experiencing loss (or pain)  in order to understand value (and pleasure) is also a rampant theme in books such as “The Giver” and “Brave New World”.  Rumi, Ibn Ata’illah, and scores of other scholars have written at length about this.  This is why Rumi values pain…and mentions that the epitome of pain is the realization of your separation from God.  Pain is essentially a blessing from God.  However, once you are enduring it, it is definitely NOT the funnest thing in the world.  I had psychosomatic pain for a week–which is a physical pain that manifests from a psychological stress–and now I treasure and value every moment in which I am not experiencing that pain!  I remember during that week that I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t simply think or reason the pain away.  However once the issue was resolved…the pain left.  I can relate to the Muslim in jail above when he said that he values the warmth of a hug…or even the ability to open and leave a room.  Although I can’t relate to those exact blessings, I can relate to his feeling of valueing something that you once had overlooked…such as happiness and peace of mind. :)

Posted in: General, Pain & Tribulations by Hifzin114 /
No Comments

“The West won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact, non-Westerners never do.”
-Samuel P. Huntington

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, General by Hifzin114 /
No Comments

I have come to the conclusion that it is near to impossible to remove the human ego.  It is definitely saddening and perhaps I am just far removed from Reality, but the ego is a perennial problem.  It is sort of like…unwanted hair that grows in your armpits.  No matter how often you shave…they will keep growing back.  They may even grow back thicker than before.  But anyway…

The ego is the most cumbersome thing to carry around, but just as difficult to cast out of your life.

I now realize why many scholars of the past detested praise.  Praise is like tobacco…the more you smoke, the more you become addicted.  Sometimes people need praise and glory in order to sustain themselves.

And even if one casts aside all forms of glorification, he/she may reach a point where they feel a sense of complete worthlessness…and this leads to depression and possibly even a lack of motivation to accomplish things.  Someone told me that even feelings of worthlessness is a sign of the ego…because true selflessness is when a person is not concerned with his/her own welfare, but the pleasure of God and the welfare of others.

I have been thinking a lot lately as you have noticed…I really wish I could be like Thoreau and Imam Ghazzali and cast aside the world as I meditate deep in the wilderness.  Of course the real sufi is the one who is in the world and possesses the heart of detachment from it.  But I have come to a point where I am disgusted with the world and my ego and would like to resolve it through isolation.

The world is overwhelming, competitive, naive, and at times insensitive.  I am speaking about people in the world as well as the concept of the world itself.  Many people are so parochial in their views and I once was extremely just as narrow-minded.  In fact, I am still narrow-minded.  The whole process of living is to gradually enlighten and broaden your views as you grow older.  People are so different and have to realize that there really is no such thing as superiority or inferiority with outward classifications…such as career, marital status, children status, wealth, beauty, personality.  The only classification of worth is dependent on the heart of a human being…the sincerity, the love, and the contentment found within it.  And this can only be determined by God.  How do I know what lies in the hearts of others?  Yet I am tired of people praising others based on what they are doing for the world and what kind of career they have.  Don’t you think that the janitor that cleans your toilet after you have used it has ambitions as well?!?  Maybe they couldn’t afford or weren’t able to receive the same type of education you have.  But I swear, the heart of the janitor could be so pure and overflowing with sincerity that he is valued in the eyes of God FAR above the medical professional who flies from country to country healing the sick.  God only knows.

May God allow us (especially myself) to live without the taint of our ego affecting our livelihood.  Ameen.

Posted in: Defeating the Ego, General by Hifzin114 /
No Comments

It is amazing what can happen in 2 months…which is how long it took me to update this blog.  I have encountered a depression that I have never fathomed before: Post Graduate Depression Syndrome. While dealing with this (and still am), I can only sit and lament at the fact that so many people take advantage of school.  The essential worries an undergraduate student has to think of is the next upcoming exam to study for, what to eat for lunch, and whether you will talk to your professor tomorrow or next week.  Everything is planned out for you…you just pick your classes and follow the syllabus.  My version of paradise is one in which there is a never-ending school.  I wish I could stay in school and major in everything: sociology, anthropology, economics, philosophy…I’d even try art.

The real world is filled with so much uncertainty.

Anyway, to place my title into the spotlight for the moment: I took my friend’s advice and applied for a job with developmentally disabled children.  It’s just a temporary job and I am doing it to witness the “growing and learning experience” that my friend continually rants and raves about.  The disorders these children have include cerebral palsy, autism, mental retardation, epilepsy, and other neurological disorders. I work with girls ages 6-24.

This experience really has proven to be an extraordinary one because these children all seem to have bipolar disorder.  One moment they are holding your hand, smiling, and showing extreme love.  The next moment they are on the floor tantrumming and refusing to participate in any activities.  I often wonder what is within these children that manifests something of God.  Everything in creation is a sign and manifestation of the attributes of God.  Thus…what kinds of signs do these children convey?

I have some thoughts. First, they should make “normal” people appreciate their faculties of mental awareness and speech.  Second, they have trouble with simple tasks such as brushing one’s teeth…this may symbolize that at the end of the day humans are all the same: bodies of flesh and clay that depend on simple, mundane processes in order to function in society properly.

I have a beautiful memory that cannot leave my mind.  Today I hugged a girl before she was about to sleep.  She gave me a kiss on the cheek.  I do not want to or intend to fall for her simple gesture.  Just previous to her calm and loving demeanor she was screaming and throwing her sheets, pillows, and comforters at her counselors.  But after the trantrumming ceased…she became affectionate again.  After looking at her lying helpless in bed..and reflecting on her dependency on counselors for direction in all matters of life during the day…one can’t help but have love and compassion.  She is really beautiful.  And I don’t mean exterior beauty.

Then it hit me.

Human beings tantrum all the time.  We sin extensively throughout our lives and even present a horrible attitude to our Creator.  Yet our Creator probably looks at us, knows our complete helplessness and dependency on Him for all matters in life, and has deep compassion.  The same girl who kissed me has erratic trantrums throughout the day.  She hates to take a shower…we shower her while she is yelling “no” anyway.  She hates to leave the lounge to participate in productive activities.  We wait patiently until she is done crying before we sometimes have to redirect her out of the room.  To her we may seem evil but we are doing it for her own growth.  The goal of my job’s organization is to promote the Independence, Inclusion, and Productivity of the developmentally disabled.  Allah probably aims the same for us.  We may cry and tantrum but God is still there to show compassion.

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, General, Pain & Tribulations by Hifzin114 /
3 Comments

I am fascinated by poverty.  I find it refreshing that many of the poor can live and be happy with much less.  I am also envious of them because of the hadith stating that the poor will enter Paradise before the rich.

This summer I had the honor of bumping into the Phoenix House.  I went there a few times to donate by dad’s books (of which there were hundreds).  As soon as I drove through the gate I felt the ease yet liveliness of this small community.  If a resident looked at you, it was usually coupled with a smile.  I went to the main office and the guy at the front desk was smiling from ear to ear.  “I just came to donate some books…”  I said a bit slowly.  “Wow! Thanks, this is truly generous of you,” the guy responded sincerely.  A bunch of guys came to see who I was and what I wanted.  Finally a Muslim man came and it turned out that he was a counselor.  He spoke to me in Arabic.  Everyone in the room seemed amazed.  A young woman passed by and she pointed at one of the books I had brought.  “I had a book like that, can I take this?”  The Muslim counselor approved her request. 

The Phoenix House is not for the poor.  But it is a safe haven for those who made the wrong decisions in life…usually with drugs, alcohol, and small crime.  They hold classes and try to influence the residents to change their lives around and become valuable assets to their communities.  I can attest to the fact that the Phoenix House is very successful in their efforts.  The Muslim counselor introduced me to a young Muslim woman who was involved with drugs and also had a beautiful baby.  She was wearing the abayah (Muslim long dress) and a hijab when I met her.  She told me how the Phoenix House altered her life and I was truly impressed.  I returned the next day to bring her two of my favorite books and other small gifts.  It was refreshing to be in this environment…an environment that is really making a difference.

As much as I liked the environment, I also felt very different.  I could tell that most of the residents of the Phoenix House had a rough upbringing.  However, everyone–whether they had a shady past or not–was friendly and warm towards me.  I returned a few more times to bring books.  I didn’t even have to leave my car before a bunch of guys would walk out to help me carry the books out of the trunk.  They were really excited to see them and they already nicknamed me “The girl with the books”.  I told one of the guys that I really liked the environment of the Phoenix House, and he said, “Yea, we’re like a commune!  A huge family.”

May God place success into their efforts.

Posted in: General by Hifzin114 /
2 Comments

I changed the title of my blog!
I was getting bored of the “Eye of the Soulstorm”, and as I was thinking about it one day while playing my drum…it hit me.  I love playing my drum!

Why Pearl?  Because my drum is special and means a lot to me. :)

Balancing the rhythm of life can be equated to the serenity one finds through contemplation.  Everyone needs balance.

A like my title because it is a bit more simplistic than the first one…I am tending to think more simplistic lately because with the way the world is today with the growth of injustice and natural disasters…we just need to be simple people.

Posted in: General by Hifzin114 /
No Comments

I went to Guyana–the home country of my parents–for about a week this summer.  I didn’t expect it to turn out to be the eye-opening experience that it was.  No.  It wasn’t the food, although there are a lot of exotic fruits that grow in the Caribbean that do not grow here.  And no, it was not the culture, the soca music, or the humid and tropical weather that made the experience noteworthy.  All of the above definitely had an impact…especially the scores of absolutely beautiful palm and coconut trees.  But the best eye-opening experience was the unmatchable etiquette of the hosts within the house that we stayed at.

Who can wake up at 5 AM…take care of his rice fields, look after his farm animals, arrive back home at 9 to dine with your guests at breakfast, make sure they have adequate water to bathe with, drive them wherever they wanted to go, bring them back home for dinner, SERVE them while they were eating…and continue to have a smiling face and happy demeanor throughout?  This didn’t last for a day.  This lasted for a week.  Glory be to Allah, I came to Guyana to witness the reality of poverty but was still pampered like royalty.  Allah’s bounties are truly unbounded.

There is more that I can add to the scenario.  I am used to hearing aunties backbite.  However the aunty within the home I stayed at NEVER backbited.  She was a perennial smiler and remained silent most of the time.  Her husband was a talker but most of his speech was inquiring as to how comfortable we were.  What baffles me even more is that they are not visibly “religious”, but have hearts that could put many visible Muslims to shame.

I am starting to distrust physical appearances.  One’s beauty is such a mirage.  A hijab can be a mirage.  No one knows what kind of treasure chest of a heart lies beneath layers of “ugly” appearances.  I was telling my mom one day how I wanted to take off my hijab in order to feel the humility of people looking down upon me.  No, I would never actually do that!  But my family praises me too much and now I understand why the Prophet (pbuh) said to throw dust in the face of flatterers.  Praise can really get to your ego.  Now I am going to try and appreciate insults a bit more.  This is another hurdle to overcome but if it humbles you…then it has got to be good for you.

Posted in: General by Hifzin114 /
No Comments

A beautiful e-mail forward:

Things Are Not Always What They Seem…

Imam Ahmad used to mention the virtues of his sheikh, Imam Ash Shafi’ee to his wife. He would mention to her the extensive and superb knowledge of Imam Ash Shafi’ee as well as his taqwah (i.e. piety). Imam Ahmad invited Imam Ash Shafi’ee to come visit him at his home. When the time for dinner arrived, Imam Ash Shafi’ee ate until he was full and went to the guest room for some sleep.

The wife of Imam Ahmad said to him: “O Ahmad! Is this the same Shafi’ee that you used to tell me so much about?” Imam Ahmad said: “Indeed he is!” So she said: “I noticed three things about him worthy of criticism!  Firstly, when we served him the food, he ate plenty of it! Secondly, when he went into the guest room, he went to sleep without standing up to perform the night prayer (i.e. tahujjud)! Lastly, when he prayed Salat ul Fajr with us, he did not perform ablution (i.e. wudhu)?!

So Imam Ahmad went to Imam Ash Shafi’ee to ask him about these three matters his wife noticed. Imam Ash Shafi’ee said to him, (the way a father would explain to his son): “O Ahmad! I ate plenty because I know for certain that your food is halal (i.e. permissible islamically) and you are a generous man!  And the food that comes from a generous man is a cure, while the food that comes from a stingy man is a disease!

However, I didn’t eat plenty of food in order to achieve my fill; rather I ate plenty of your food in order to derive the cure from it! As for the reason I didn’t  stand up at night  to perform the night prayer, when I laid my head down to get some sleep, I looked and all I could see was the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Prophet  (Sallahu alaihi wa salam) right in front of my face! So I deducted 72 fiqh related benefits from them for the Muslims to benefit from. Thus there was no opportunity for me to stand and perform the night prayer!

As for the reason why I prayed Salat ul Fajr without performing ablution, by Allah! My eyes never tasted the sweetness of sleep in order for me to renew my wudhu!! I was awake the whole night, so I prayed Salat ul Fajr  with the same wudhu I had for Salat ul Isha!!!

Collected by Al Hafidh Ibn Hajr in Fath ul Bari concisely and by Abu Nu’aim in Hilya tul Awliyaa’

Translated by Abu Azzubayr Shadeed Muhammad on 3/30/2010 in the City of Riyadh Saudi Arabia

Lesson: “Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.”

Posted in: General by Hifzin114 /
1 Comment

People have told me that many youth go into marriage expecting to have a halaqah every day with your spouse. You and your spouse will recite Quran together, study together, discuss fine points of religion together, etc.

But I have heard that this rarely happens in marriage. And this is what depresses me.

InshAllah I will not fall into this mold.

A spouse to me is someone much more than one who you share affection and financial assets together. Your spouse is your stepping (or falling) stone to God. If you have a spouse that shares your enthusiasm, your drive for knowledge, your drive for ihsan, then to me THIS is a marriage.

I don’t want my marriage to become a mundane discussion of food and money transactions.

Maybe I’m naive, maybe I’m being too idealistic. But much more than romance what I crave in a marriage is to be able to enjoy the remembrance of God in each other’s presence.

I pray we all experience the same.

Posted in: General by Hifzin114 /
4 Comments