Eye of the Soulstorm

I am comparing the inner religious dimension of Buddhism to Islam.  The idea behind eliminating dukha (suffering) in Buddhism is so pure and beautiful–it reminds me so much of Tasawwuf.  I have separated my paper into three ideas: non-attachment, self-annihilation, and enlightenment.

The more I study Buddhism, the stronger I become in my own faith.

Islam believes that there were 124,000 messengers of God who came to bring His message.  Buddha HAD to be one, inshAllah….

The greatest achievement is selflessness.
The greatest worth is self-mastery.
The greatest quality is seeking to serve others.
The greatest precept is continual awareness.
The greatest medicine is the emptiness of everything.
The greatest action is not conforming with the worlds ways.
The greatest magic is transmuting the passions.
The greatest generosity is non-attachment.
The greatest goodness is a peaceful mind.
The greatest patience is humility.
The greatest effort is not concerned with results.
The greatest meditation is a mind that lets go.
The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances.

-Atisha (11th century Tibetan Buddhist master)

Posted in: Defeating the Ego by Hifzin114 /
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Someone said to me lately, “If you are serious about Sufism, the world is perfect the way it is.  It’s a mirror.  It’s only your own imperfection you are seeing.”

I was complaining, and my friend said that complaints are only a result of my weaknesses and misjudgment of God’s wisdom.

Someone also said, “What is Tasawwuf?  Finding happiness in the heart upon the arrival of grief.”  Every sorrow and difficulty that one undergoes in the dunya is a window into a future happiness in Paradise, God-willing.  The difficulty may also be a part of a training process Allah wants us to pass.  This way we become stronger in our character and faith.

Tasawwuf is the most difficult science in Islam.  The most difficult, but the most rewarding. :)

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, Defeating the Ego, Pain & Tribulations by Hifzin114 /
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The point of my last post was that I was finding it hard to tolerate narrow-mindedness.  I think this toleration is getting easier, mostly because of the amazing adab people display.  Manners and character go a very, very long way.  But here are the examples of closed minds that I have a hard time fathoming:

Materialistic people who cannot burst out of their bubbles:  They are driven by the brand-name fashion industry in which they cannot leave and realize that there are much more important matters to be worrying about.  Instead of acquiring a PhD to make a difference, they are bubbling with excitement about the future car they want to buy along with their entire coach collection of purses.  Some of these people complain that they cannot stand it when their parents or scholars of Islam tell them what to do…then why are they allowing a bunch of men who control the fashion industry to influence their minds and tell them what to wear?

The person who is bound to their culture by every thread.  I have no problem with this person unless they begin to demean people of other cultures and criticize others who choose to marry outside of their culture.  Yes.  I have heard (through secondary sources) that people have called my brother a “wannabe Arab” after he married a girl who traces her roots back to Yemen.  There is a line in the Quran where God says that he created people into different tribes and cultures so that we may learn from each other.  What better way for inter-cultural exchange and harmony than to marry people from a different culture?  A partner for marriage (in my opinion) is someone with which you have a harmonious, mutual understanding in the views that mean the most to you.  If I find this harmony in a person of a different culture or race, then by all means I will consider him.  I am also disappointed when people place priority on culture over religion.  The stigmas and ideologies developed by men through a culture can never outweigh the divine sources of religion.

Finally, people who are not willing to accept or even consider religious viewpoints that are different from their own.  I have countless of examples for this, but I will list only a few.  Intelligence to me is something that grows over time.  If one is stuck in a certain ideology, or in an ideology that inherently inhibits growth, then I will begin to feel suffocated.  The Quran is a guidance to all men for eternity.  This means that its guidance will oversee many eras of culture, fashion, governance, music, food etc.  This does not mean that the fashion, food, and culture that existed during the time of the prophet is superior to all others!  What is superior during the Prophet’s time was the Muslims’ character, knowledge, manners, and intimacy with God.  As long as a Muslim is covering the necessary areas of their body with modest clothing, I do not think that their intimacy with God is limited by their failure to wear a black abayah and niqab (face-covering).  The Quran did not come down to turn humanity into robots-it came to guide us into realizing that everything that exists is a proof of God and His oneness-including the culture, fashion, and food that changes throughout time.  I have no problem with niqab, I just have a problem with those who believe that to not wear it is restricting their relationship with God.

Of course this is an extreme example, but this “niqab” is a symbol for ideologies too.  My cousin-in-law told me once that he was criticized for playing basketball because it was a biddah (innovation) and had no place in the Quran and Sunnah.  This is ridiculous and sad at the same time.  One of my favorite scholars said that the reason so many Saudi youth are turning to “western” music is because their own display of musical creativity (Nasheeds, Qasidahs, etc) is being shunned in their land as a biddah, thus they have no means to express it except though foreign music.

Another example of this close-mindedness happened recently after a conference.  The conference had different sessions: one discussing the socio-psychological perspective of Islam, one discussing the political perspective of Islam, another discussing the spiritual perspective of Islam, and another discussing business marketing and how to use it to improve the west’s understanding of Islam.  A lot of my friends went.  At first I heard many criticisms about the atmosphere because it was not gender segregated and did not offer a lot in terms of Islamic knowledge.  Then however, I heard a completely different perspective.  My own cousin and his wife told me how much they enjoyed it, and another one of my good friends said it was amazing.  When I told them about the initial criticisms, they were shocked and said that the quality and comprehensiveness of the conference outweighed the fact that it was gender-mixed.  In fact, men and women sat in clusters so it was not completely mixed.  Conclusion: do not let a petty discomfort prevent you from benefiting from something larger and substantial.

These are three main qualities that I have difficulty coming to terms with.  However one of my friends told me that you should NEVER hold antipathy towards a person who says something hurtful.  What you should hold antipathy towards is the statement that was made.  This is beautiful.

At the end of the day, everyone is raised differently and has different experiences that make them who they are.  Maybe I need to learn to open my mind, too.

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, Defeating the Ego, General by Hifzin114 /
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The goal of the seeker on the path to God is to eliminate his own ego–his own selfness.  How does he do this?  He becomes so lost in love with God that he loses his sense of self.  Keep in mind this hadith:

“My slave does not draw near to Me with anything I love more than what I have made obligatory on him. And my slave continues to draw near to Me with superogatory actions until I love him. When I love him, I become his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes, and his foot with which he walks.”

A person who is in union with God forgets about his own self-existence.  He thinks about God in every moment.  He sees the attributes of God manifested through everything.  And I am not talking about pantheism.  Everything is a reflection of God; even a rock is a manifestation of the attributes of God.  A rock is long-lasting, durable, and eternal.  God is ever-lasting, most durable, and the eternal.  A rock is a sign and proof of the existence of God.

So anyway, what does this have to do with womanhood?  It all began in a unique art class that I had to take as a sophomore.  I think we were assigned to design a project that had meaning to us and was a social service.  I remember a girl in my class wanted to design a service for young women, I think it was called “No More Tears.”  It’s designed for girls who have just left a broken relationship, girls who “lost” themselves in a relationship, and girls who forgot about their own ambitions and sense of self during a relationship.  As part of the project, the girls would come to the organization and bring a pair of shoes.  On their shoes they would glue and place symbols or a representation of everything that meant a lot to them.  As they wore their shoes, they would always remember what made them an individual.

I remember at the time thinking…woah!  Thank God I have not experienced this!  How does a girl allow herself to “lose” herself in a relationship?  But now as a senior, I have more understanding and sympathy.

Love is powerful and dangerous.  Just as Love for God causes the servant of God to be so consumed and forgetful of his own self…so does love for a temporal being/item.  A girl who is “in love” with her partner is willing to sacrifice and compromise almost every aspect of herself for the sake of union with her “beloved.”  When the relationship ends, she is confused and lost.  Of course, this is not the correct or right understanding of love…but what can you expect from the youth?  They are naïve and willing to take risks.  This kind of love exists on the side of the boy, as well.  However, I personally have seen only cases of a woman losing her sense of self.  This is yet another reason why many women choose to stay within abusive relationships.

In conclusion, women need to discover themselves before they seek a partner.  Independence is one of the best gifts she can offer to her husband.  The only Being that deserves a woman’s heart and self is her Creator.

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, Defeating the Ego, Love by Hifzin114 /
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“Half hearted or insincere apologies are often worse than not apologizing at all because recipients find them insulting.”

-Randy Pausch

I finished reading the book, “The Last Lecture,” by Randy Pausch.  The author has a fatal disease (pancreatic cancer)…and wrote the book at a time when he had only a few months left to live.  I underlined various advice he had for the reader…one of his advices that struck me the most was on forgiveness.  He begins by saying how he would discuss with his students the proper way to apologize, which, by the way, is very Islamic. :)

“Working in groups was crucial in my classes, and friction between students was unavoidable.  Some students wouldn’t pull their load.  Others were so full of themselves that they’d belittle their partners.  By mid-semester, apologies were always in order.  When students wouldn’t do it, everything would spin out of control.  So I’d often give classes my little routine about apologies.

I’d start by describing the two classic bad apologies:

1. ‘I’m sorry that you feel hurt by what I’ve done.’  (This is an attempt at an emotional salve, but it’s obvious you don’t want to put any medicine in the wound.)

2. ‘I apologize for what I did, but you also need to apologize to me for what you’ve done.’ (That’s not giving an apology.  That’s asking for one.)

Proper apologies have three parts:

1. What I did was wrong.
2. I feel badly that I hurt you.
3. How do I make this better?

Yes, some people may take advantage of you when answering question three.  But most people will be genuinely appreciative of your make-good efforts.  They may tell you how to make it better in some small, easy way.  And often, they’ll work harder to help make things better themselves.

Students would say to me: ‘What if I apologize and the other person doesn’t apologize back?’  I’d tell them: ‘That’s not something you can control, so don’t let it eat at you.’

-Randy Pausch

Beautiful advice.  It’s funny, because I had a rocky weekend lately, and my friend sent me a beautiful apology e-mail.  I thought of Randy before I responded.  So I made sure that I apologized back.  To say “I’m sorry” to somebody is such a sign of humility…you just have to accept it.  To not accept an apology is a sign of arrogance…and that it a whole other blog entry.  Within seconds after reading the e-mail from my friend, all sadness and tension within me vanished.

Not forgiving somebody can lead one to harbor rancor in his/her heart.  And I learned the HARD WAY to never do this again!  Shaykh Hamza Yusuf was so right when he said that the person who harbors the rancor is more harmed than the person who is the target of rancor.  You want to know how I learned the hard way?  Google “psychosomatic pain.” J

Anyway, don’t be scared!  (Haha) I don’t have any ill-feelings towards anyone, all praise be to God.  It’s wonderful to be in this state.

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, Defeating the Ego by Hifzin114 /
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Sometimes you encounter things that allow you to have a deeper understanding of Islam.  For example, due to my dad’s illness, I realized something about this hadith that I originally overlooked:

“God will say on the day of Resurrection, ‘O Son of Adam! I fell ill and you did not visit me.’ He will say, ‘O Lord, how shall I visit you when You are the Lord of the Worlds?’ He will say, ‘Did you know that My servant so-and-so had fallen ill and you did not visit him?  Did you not know that had you visited him, you would have found Me with him.’” [Muslim]

Read the last line again.  Can you imagine?  My dad lives with me.  Does that mean that Allah is closer to me now that there is an ill person in my house?  I’m amazed that this line didn’t hit me the first time I read it.  InshAllah just sitting in my dad’s presence will help me to get closer to Allah.

According to a neurologist, my dad has a disease that has no cure.  This illness has completely changed my relationship with my dad  There was a time when I could not talk to him…not because we didn’t get along…but because we didn’t clique.  There was a time when I refused to let him hug me, I felt awkward.  There was a time when I couldn’t look at his face and smile because I would remember the times that he yelled at me.  There was a time when I enjoyed being out of the house more than being in the house.

Now I can sit near my dad for hours…stare at his face for hours…smile and laugh.  Now I let him hug me whenever he wants, and I initiate hugs every day.  The first thing I usually do when I leave school now is go home to just be in his presence.  Spending time with friends have become a second priority.  I wonder if he notices because one time he was looking out into the backyard and talking about the plants, but I completely ignored the plants and just stared at my dad’s face the entire time.

My mom has her own experiences.  This illness is harder on her than it is on me.  My mom’s advice to my brother, his wife, and I is to always “be humble, patient, and kind,” because you never know when Allah might take your health away…and place you in a vulnerable state.

Humans can walk on this earth, boast, and be proud of their success and physical prowess.  But what does it amount to in the end?  In the end we become old, weak, and dependent on humans again.  We are not great except through the greatness Allah bestows on us temporarily.  And in reality this greatness all stems from Him.

There was a time when my dad used to say to others that he can pick up his entire family (which was true at the time).  My dad was always physically strong.  Now my dad is weaker and depends on my mom for a lot.  InshAllah maybe a miracle will happen and he will regain his strength…and if not then I hope that this illness is a purification for my family and that my dad feels the most ease and the least pain.  Ameen.

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, Defeating the Ego by Hifzin114 /
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I was bored of studying and started reading this article: http://nawawi.org/downloads/article6.pdf

The following passage made me really happy because of the bold emphasis that science and religion do not clash.

“Conflict between religion and science was virtually unknown In Islamic Intellectual history.  The harmony between the two is epitomized in the life and work of the brilliant ninth century Muslim Chemist Jabir Ibn Hayyan, who repudiated alchemy as a valid science and laid the empirical foundations of chemistry.  His religious devotion earned him the spiritual designation of “the sufi.”  Ibn Hayyan began one of his renowned works on chemistry, The Book of Seventy (Kitab al-Sab’in), with the words: “Certainly the mention of God is more noble, majestic, and great than what follows.”  He opened the book with a lengthy discussion on the imperative of purifying the soul from ostentation and other spiritual defects as a prerequisite to the pursuit of scientific learning.

                Islam produces an array of religious scholars who also excelled in the rational and empirical sciences.  Ibn Rushd (Averroes), the learned Andalusian judge and legal scholar, left an influence on Islamic law that is felt even today.  His commentaries on Aristotle affected the course of European intellectual history.  He composed more than fifty works ranging from his primary fields of law and philosophy to medicine, psychology, zoology, and astronomy.  It is said that his medical opinions were as eagerly awaited in Muslim Spain as his interpretations of the law.  Likewise, Fakhr al-Din al-Razi, a noted Qur’anic commentator, theologian, and legal theorist, mastered the rational and empirical sciences of his age and compiled The Consummation of Ancient and Modern Ideas, in which he summarized the philosophical, theological, and scientific thought of prominent ancient and latter-day thinkers.”

Wow—I really like the line that I bolded.  Imagine…one needs to purify his heart/soul before embarking on scientific study!  It makes so much sense, and it embodies perfect adab (manners)!  I LOVE this.  Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could take a course on Tazkiyyat-un-Nafs (purification of the soul) before we had to take Chemistry and Biology? 

Then people would REALLY be studying for the sake of Allah!

This reminds me…I really need to be studying physics.

 <3 humanity fi-sabeelilah (for the sake of Allah)

Posted in: Defeating the Ego, General by Hifzin114 / Tags: heart, Nafs, science, soul, Tazkiyyah

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Is it easy to let go of something or someone you love in order to benefit another?

One of my favorite topics this year at MSA East Zone Conference was a lecture delivered by Mawlana Omar on Ithar.

Ithar: selflessness, placing the well-being of your brother over yours.  Mawlana described it as “placing others before yourself”.  The Prophet (pbuh) said: None of you will have faith until he wishes for his brother what he likes for himself. [Muslim]

This is one of the hardest noble character traits to embody; one who has it has definitely attained a high station with God.  True Ithar is rare.  A sign is the ability to give to others what one loves, such as a favorite robe, food, and even a spouse!  Mawlana Omar gave several examples of the sahabas (companions of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)) and the Prophet (pbuh) displaying Ithar.

The best Ithar is to give something away that you strongly love, so that the action actually brings you pain.

Mawlana Omar said that the salik (seeker) has no rights.  This is similar to my last post: we are nothing, and are deserving of nothing, yet Allah expends on us immensely.  Therefore we should be freely able to give to others what rightfully does not belong to us.

Mawlana Omar also said that there is no love bond as strong as the one that exists between Allah and the Prophet Muhammad(pbuh). Yet the Prophet is willing to sacrifice his time with Allah to wait for all the people in his Ummah to enter Paradise before he himself enters.  This is real Ithar.  This also means that the Prophet will have to wait until all conflicts, arguments, and problems are dealt with and resolved between his followers.  So Mawlana Omar said (paraphrased by me):  “Why won’t you forgive all those who wronged you so that the prophet will not have to endure this distance from His Beloved?  If we truly loved the Prophet, then we would be willing to forgive others so that he could enter paradise sooner.” SubhanAllah!

When I came back from the conference, my good friend posted a beautiful gem on her FB.  It was the story of Abdullah ibn Omar (RA), the son of Omar ibn Al-Khattab (RA)–a man known for his great love for Islam and the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).  The former used to love a slave-girl named Rumaysaa’ who he wanted to free and marry.  However, when Abdullah ibn Omar heard the Prophet say “None of you will have faith until he wishes for his brother what he likes for himself,” he freed Rumaysaa’, and married her to his friend, Naafi!  Imagine the sacrafice he was willing to undergo in order to embody the advice of the Prophet: Ithar.  SubhanAllah.

Mawlana Omar said similar stories like this at EZ, but for some reason this story really touched me.  It made me realize that I am really lacking in Ithar.

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, Defeating the Ego, Love by Hifzin114 / Tags: Ithar, Mawlana Omar, MSA EZ conference

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Let’s shift the focus from others to myself.

Do I easily get offended by mild things? Do I often complain to others about how *I* feel?  Do I immediately display my upsetness to others when I have been hurt?  Do I walk away immediately?  Am I unable to behave rationally and contain my composure?  Does it take me a while to accept the apologies of others?

If I have said “yes” to any of the above, then I am diagnosed with the disease of the EGO.

       When Solomon leaves the palace, the jinni takes over as king: when patience and intellect go, your ego incites to evil.  (Rumi; Diwan 5798)

       The sensual ego is blind and deaf to God. (Rumi; M IV 235)

Over the years I have learnt to not be sensitive.  I still have a long way to go.  Sensitivity implies that we give ourselves some worth–when in reality we are worth nothing.  This is what humility entails: that we are mere creations of water and clay that depend solely on God for our survival.  How can we even claim to be worth anything when everything we have is granted to us temporarily from Him?

So about this EGO:

Alhamdulilah, I took a class last semester with Professor Chittick, who is one of the best scholars of Islam in the west today.  I am so grateful to God that he and his wife both teach at my university, I don’t understand why more students don’t take advantage of these treasures of knowledge.  Anyway, in his class we studied his translation of Rumi’s poetry.  The book is entitled, “The Sufi Path of Love”.  In this book we learned that the majority of man’s problems come from within his own breast–from his own EGO.  Satan can only tempt us and whisper to us; but when we commit a sin, we do it from our own selves.

Most of the pain, suffering, anguish, and worry that comes from living in this world is a result of our ego.  We give ourselves some worth.  We think, “How dare that person talk to me that way?  Who does she think she is?  Does she know who *I* am?”  and “How dare that person behave that way with me, after all that I have done for her?”  and “How dare my parents speak to me that way?” and “How cruel is life that I have been so mistreated by it?  Why is my life so difficult?  What have *I* done to deserve this pain?”

Keyword to problems: I

Who is I?  What is I?  I is the source of my problems–the ego.  The ego thinks it has value: that it deserves only good because it does only good.  The ego wants to be treated well, the ego thinks that it deserves everything that God has bestowed to it.  The ego thinks that whatever talents it has comes straight from the ego itself, rather than God.  The ego is proud of its successes, and praises itself.  The ego gets upset and offended when others insult it.  In fact, it becomes furious!  It thinks, “HOW DARE they call me that…when I am all glory and beauty!?!”  Big mistake.  God is the source of all glory and beauty.  The ego talks about its mood and feelings constantly, instead of speaking about God.  The ego talks about what makes it feel good, such as specific food, people, and environments…instead of the dhikr, scholars, and the environments that soothe the fitra.

So once a person realizes this, he/she has already begun to trod the path of annihilation of the ego.  When someone calls you stupid, you should think, “I am stupid, in relation to God I am worth nothing.”  You should accept your flaw and move on.  If someone upsets your mood, you should think, “Who am I to think that I deserve to be treated well?  I am nothing, and worth nothing in comparison to God.”  If someone behaves ill toward you, you should think, “Who am I?  Am I worth anything that people should behave well towards me?  Who am I to get offended, am I giving myself self-worth?”  If someone doesn’t call you, you should think, “Who am I…to deserve a phone call?  I should be the one calling first to express my gratitude.”  If someone ignores you, you should think, “Who am I, that I think I deserve to be paid attention to?”  My friend advised me once to not expect equality from others:  give and serve others but expect no payback.  If people look down upon you/me, we should take it as a blessing because it only serves to increase our humility.

My friend’s favorite Ustadh would tell people when they apologized to him, “Don’t worry about it.  Who am I?  You could slap me and I still wouldn’t be worthy.”  MashAllah, this is humility.

I remember Shaykh Hamza Yusuf once said that one of the four Mujtahid Imams would make dua to Allah whenever he got into an argument/disagreement that he would be the person who was wrong so that he could submit to the other person.  SubhanAllah, who makes dua that they are the loser of an argument?  It’s ALWAYS vice versa.  This is the humility that modern leaders lack.  I get discouraged when I see Muslim leaders refuse to accept apologies or ignore people for more than a few days.  It really saddens my heart.  The ego is spreading its poison everywhere.  Who are we to think that we are so special that we refuse to accept the apologies of others and ignore people?

I really love my mom.  She thinks just like me.  A person’s good character and humility is more precious to God than knowledge that is not acted upon.  My mom told me the hadith story of a woman who used to pray avidly, but still threw garbage in her neighbor’s yard.  Due to this one improper action, all of her good deeds were ignored by God and she had to suffer in Hell.  No matter how much knowledge a person gains, no matter how many prayers and halaqahs they give, if they have poor character and hurt others through their actions, no one can judge whether they are going to Paradise/Hell or not.  Leave it up to God.

No doubt, humility is a hard trait to embody.  This is why some shaykhs would have their students become beggars for a few years.  They wanted their students to learn what REAL humility is.  This is also why some shaykhs tell their students to NEVER use the word “I” when describing themselves, but to use the phrase ”this Faqir”.  A faqir is a despondent, poor, and needy soul/person.

If you continue to think this way, your life becomes much happier and productive, inshAllah.  You will be grateful to God and others a lot more.  After all, there is a hadith that says, “Whoever has not thanked others, has not thanked God.”

       The whole Koran describes the wickedness of egos: Study the Holy Book! Where is your insight?  (Rumi; Mathnawi VI 4862)
       Concern yourself not with the thieflike ego and its business.  Whatever is not God’s work is nothing, nothing! (Rumi; Mathnawi II 1063)

The goal of Tasawwuf is to remove this burdensome ego and purify the heart from all spiritual diseases by adhering to the Qur’an (Koran) and Sunnah–which includes the remedies prescribed by the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) himself.  In fact, according to a hadith, the person with an atom’s weight of arrogance will not enter Paradise.  The path of Islam is thus a path of removing all slivers of arrogance and filth within our souls.

So remember: sensitivity=self worth=ego

The bird that escapes from the trap of its ego has no fear, wherever it may fly.  (Rumi; Diwan 7327)

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, Defeating the Ego by Hifzin114 / Tags: Chittick, purification of the heart, Rumi, Shaykh Hamza Yusuf, Sufi Path of Love, Tasawwuf

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