Eye of the Soulstorm

Sometimes you encounter things that allow you to have a deeper understanding of Islam.  For example, due to my dad’s illness, I realized something about this hadith that I originally overlooked:

“God will say on the day of Resurrection, ‘O Son of Adam! I fell ill and you did not visit me.’ He will say, ‘O Lord, how shall I visit you when You are the Lord of the Worlds?’ He will say, ‘Did you know that My servant so-and-so had fallen ill and you did not visit him?  Did you not know that had you visited him, you would have found Me with him.’” [Muslim]

Read the last line again.  Can you imagine?  My dad lives with me.  Does that mean that Allah is closer to me now that there is an ill person in my house?  I’m amazed that this line didn’t hit me the first time I read it.  InshAllah just sitting in my dad’s presence will help me to get closer to Allah.

According to a neurologist, my dad has a disease that has no cure.  This illness has completely changed my relationship with my dad  There was a time when I could not talk to him…not because we didn’t get along…but because we didn’t clique.  There was a time when I refused to let him hug me, I felt awkward.  There was a time when I couldn’t look at his face and smile because I would remember the times that he yelled at me.  There was a time when I enjoyed being out of the house more than being in the house.

Now I can sit near my dad for hours…stare at his face for hours…smile and laugh.  Now I let him hug me whenever he wants, and I initiate hugs every day.  The first thing I usually do when I leave school now is go home to just be in his presence.  Spending time with friends have become a second priority.  I wonder if he notices because one time he was looking out into the backyard and talking about the plants, but I completely ignored the plants and just stared at my dad’s face the entire time.

My mom has her own experiences.  This illness is harder on her than it is on me.  My mom’s advice to my brother, his wife, and I is to always “be humble, patient, and kind,” because you never know when Allah might take your health away…and place you in a vulnerable state.

Humans can walk on this earth, boast, and be proud of their success and physical prowess.  But what does it amount to in the end?  In the end we become old, weak, and dependent on humans again.  We are not great except through the greatness Allah bestows on us temporarily.  And in reality this greatness all stems from Him.

There was a time when my dad used to say to others that he can pick up his entire family (which was true at the time).  My dad was always physically strong.  Now my dad is weaker and depends on my mom for a lot.  InshAllah maybe a miracle will happen and he will regain his strength…and if not then I hope that this illness is a purification for my family and that my dad feels the most ease and the least pain.  Ameen.

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, Defeating the Ego by Hifzin114 /
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This summer I decided to take an organic chemistry class.  EVERYONE complains about this class.  I was weak and conformed to the dominant opinion that orgo is no fun at all.

How wrong was I!

Yes, I actually enjoy my class…a lot.  But one thing is for sure…it is my teachers, my classmates, and the personalization that makes all the difference.  One: my teacher is charismatic, humble, and just awesome.  Two: I made some really great friends.  Three: The smaller class size (100-150) compared to the usual “pre-med” class size at Stony Brook (600-800) offers a close knit group in which people actually desire to help each other out rather than tear each other apart so that they can beat the average and get the A.

I’ve made a friend whose about 30 years old and has a three year old daughter.  I’ve made a friend who goes to Princeton University, another that goes to Binghamton, and another who wants to transfer to my university.  All of them have similar ambitions and drives to me…which is what made me clique well with them.  I actually look forward to going to class to see them.  Each one of them is unique and I have already learned so much about people in general just upon associating with them.  One of them wants to become a PA and work in an underdeveloped nation in Africa.  One wants to apply to pharmacy school, another is not sure but knows that she just wants to help people.  The best job in my opinion is a job where you get to serve others.  Teaching, for example, is probably the most satisfying job that exists.

The point of this post is that there is more to learning than just the subject material itself.  It’s the whole environment…the people you study with…the people you choose to learn from and share ambitions with: the people who learn the material not merely for attaining a good grade and accumulating money, but to actually help others.

Without the friends that I have made, without the friendly and caring personality of my teacher, my experience with organic chemistry would not have been a good one.  It is amazing how individuals can affect your enjoyment of learning.  No wonder people were so quick and willing to accept faith and religion when the Prophets of God (Jesus, Moses, Muhammad, peace be upon them all) lived and walked the earth.  Sometimes you need that sincere environment, and the charismatic and deep personalities that stir peoples’ hearts.  The companions of the Prophets were also charismatic and dedicated people.  Each individual-whether he/she was aware of it or not–nurtured and encouraged those around them to better themselves.  This is one reason amongst many why schools and colleges separate “honors” kids from regular students.  The honors kids will encourage one another to strive more and work harder.   The environment around you can make you and break you.

My orgo teacher is great.  He can keep me awake (and alert) for two and a half hours straight.  (This is how long the lectures are).  I seriously think that I am going to send a thank you e-mail to my professor when the semester is over.  May Allah continue to increase his teaching skills and affect all the students who learn from him.  Ameen.

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, Friendship by Hifzin114 /
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My good friend Jafrin sent this to me and I had to post it:

“The soul is a temptress and loves to look at beautiful forms and the eye is the guide of the heart. The heart commissions its guide to go and look to see what is there and when the eye informs it of a beautiful image it shudders out of love and desire for it. Frequently such inter-relations tire and wear down both the heart and the eye as it is said:

When you sent your eye as a guide for your heart one day, the object of sight fatigued you for you saw one over whom you had no power neither a portion or in totality, instead you had to be patient.”

~ Imam Ibn ul Qayyim al Jawziyyah, rahimullah (May God’s Mercy be upon him)

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, Love, Pain & Tribulations by Hifzin114 / Tags: heart, soul

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I have always thought about this and finally I came upon this hadith:

Abû Hurayrah relates that God’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said: “God is good and accepts nothing but what is good. Indeed, God commands the believers with what He commands the Messengers and says: ‘O Messengers! Eat of the things good and pure and work righteous deeds’ [Sûrah al-Mu’minûn: 51] and says: ‘O you who believe! Eat of the things good and pure that We have provided for you.’ [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 172]” Then he mentioned a man who had traveled on a long journey, his hair disheveled and discolored with dust. “He will raise his hands to the sky saying ‘O Lord! O Lord!’ but his food is unlawful, his drink is unlawful, and his clothing is unlawful. How then can he be answered?” [Sahîh Muslim]

How can we expect God to grant us everything we desire when we are involved in harmful activities behind the scenes? For example; interest, paying taxes that support regimes that kill innocent people, living lavishly and wasting resources when there are people in the world who are in dire need. Just because I dress appropriately, pray, fast, etc…doesn’t mean God is going to answer my prayers. People in the west need to break free from their bubbles of luxury and realize that if we want God to help us, we have to help others as well.

I think American Muslims need to wake up.   We need to serve more than we do complain.  And this is a reminder to myself first.

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom by Hifzin114 /
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Someone once said, “Words only carry the significances we assign to them.”

Beautiful. Perfect.

This small quotes solves practically all conflicts in life. People love to interpret what other people mean when they use words, what we need to do is ASK the person stating the words what they actually mean. In this way we realize that the conflict is really not a conflict at all, and that both sides actually agree with one another.

This reminds me of a story that my Uncle told me when he came over to my house this weekend. He told me about a couple that was having immense problems so a Shaykh told them to sit in separate rooms and write down all the issues they had with each other, and then to write down the solutions. When they switched papers, the couple realized that a lot of the problems and solutions were identical!

Pretty funny, eh?

Therefore here is my advice: Don’t get hurt by words, most likely you have misunderstood what the person is saying.

This advice can carry on into the religious and academic world as well. Scholars of different “leanings” will bicker and criticize another person’s writings without seeking to understand what the author actually meant.

If they only talked to each other, in they end they would realize that they both have the same goal and aim, and most likely a similar understanding–probably just manifested in a slightly different way.

I will look at the beach, and my brother will look at the beach.  When we describe the beach to my mother…we will both say different things…but we intend and still retain the same image in our mind.  :)

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom by Hifzin114 /
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I had an epiphany today and I only have a few minutes to post, so I shall be quick:

When we love somebody, sometimes we test that person with difficult situations to see how much they actually love us. Like a girl might say, “What if I had leukemia/cancer, would you still love me then?” Sometimes the girl might pretend to be going through a predicament (or might actually share a real one) just to see if the guy is caring enough to help her through it.  If the girl wants to join Doctors without Borders or pursue an outrageous ambition, and the guy refuses to compromise on that basis (and the ambition is halal), obviously he doesn’t love her enough to allow her the time and space to do what means so much to her.  Maybe the girl will display her weaknesses, to see if the guy is willing to overlook them.  And what if the girl got into a car accident, lost her ability to walk, and has to use a wheelchair permanently…would the guy still love her then?  What if the girl’s father is unbearably impatient and will not allow the guy to marry his daughter until he has a stable career and house?  Will the guy be willing to wait?  This works vice versa in the perspective of the guy, as well.

Parents test their children, teachers test their students, and married couples test each other throughout marriage.

So what does this mean?  I realized that God does the same to us!  He sends tribulations and trials to test our love for Him and how much we are willing to sacrafice for His sake.  If we give up on God and faith, it’s like the guy who gives up on the girl because she has an impatient father…he is not willing to wait and be patient for good later.

Each person has their own struggle, their own tribulation.  Some are longer than others, some last years, some last seconds.  Some fall into the trap that God is angry with us, or doesn’t care, or is being unmerciful.  Yet we forget that God is sending us these trials out of His LOVE for us, and His willingness to test how well we return love back to Him.

Few minutes is up.  Back to work.  I pray Allah shortens our tribulations and lengthens our pleasures. :)

On another note, my friend Jafrin told me something really interesting.  Imam Abu Hanifa had a student…Abu Yusuf…who used to pray Asr (mid prayer of the day) during the earlier time period…the same earlier time that the followers of Imam Shafi pray in…interesting, eh?

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, General, Love, Pain & Tribulations by Hifzin114 / Tags: Love for Allah

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Sometimes you have the most unusual days, and then by the end, you think WOW.  My life really is a drama show.  God has the most interesting characters and events for us to meet.

One day towards the end of the fall semester, I had one of the most captivating conversations in my life–with an ex-Jail-convict.  He was really nice and friendly.  He kept going on and on, and I kept nodding and nodding; adding my input here and there.  But I was so intrigued by his charisma and what he said; all the while we were in the 8th floor of the hospital waiting for his wife to finish receiving her epidural so that we could witness her c-section!

Lol, let me explain.  I took a class called Maternal and Fetal Medicine.  Part of the requirement was that we had to observe a live birth and a live c-section.  I had already observed a live birth, so that particular day I woke up extra early to get in time to the Hospital to see if I could catch a c-section.  I arrived just in time.  One was about to happen in about 15-30 minutes.  I changed into a doctor’s scrubs, which we were required to wear.  Before I could enter the surgery room, I had to put on a cap and face mask.  I felt SO COOL.  I felt that I looked like a real surgeon.

Before I entered the room however, I had to get permission from the patient.  She nodded her head in approval.  I left the room to get something and when I came back her husband asked me what my ethnicity was.  I told him that I was born in America, but that my parents were born in Guyana and that we are originally (few generations back) from India.  “Aha!” said the wife.  It was obvious that they were trying to guess at what my ethnicity was when I left the room.  I laughed.  The father started to chat away.  He talked about his background (he is multi-racial).  They were so excited to have another baby that they were taking pictures.  They even took a picture of me, lol.

The interesting part happened when his wife left the room.  It was just me and the dad.  I felt a bit uncomfortable, but he was overjoyed to have someone to speak with.  He started by saying how good it is that I have the chance to go to medical school (he thought I was going) while others do not.  He told me about his lifestyle as he grew up in the “ghettos” of New York City.  He said that he got involved with the wrong crowd, invested some time into drugs, and ended up serving time in jail.  Due to his felony he is not allowed to enter law school or get a good career.  Every time he tries to apply for a job, his felony will always come up, even though he has changed his life around and has a wife (and now three kids!).  He was lamenting…and what felt like he was confiding in me.  He talked on and on, I was totally intrigued throughout.  He told me how jail changed his life…how the people he met there were some of the most brilliant and intelligent men he ever knew.  He said they never got the chance to prove their worth and intelligence, only due to poverty and probably a few misguided choices.  Then he started to tell me about some of the theories his old jailmates discussed as to why America is in a recession.  He discussed immigration, taking advantage of undeveloped nations, using money we don’t have to ransack resources we don’t desperately need.  I was kinda shocked that men in jail would even care to discuss stuff like this.  Then he talked about the career thing, how people in other countries who have felonies come to America with a clean slate..and how it’s not fair that he is an American who has to deal with this felony-scar for the rest of his life.

He started to confide in me as to how minorities make it big and take advantage of American money, and use it to take back home–possibly another reason of the recession.  He told me how certain Hispanic communities will support their own people, and how they will live with as many as 12 people in one house to save money and conserve resources.

He told me about some theories that the men in jail had for making money.  One is the Hispanic community theory.  He told me other stories as well, including examples of certain people who came from countries in Africa and South America.  I was impressed.

Point of this story:  Don’t underestimate the intelligence and vigor of people in the lower class, people in poverty, and people with histories of felonies.  We can learn from anyone, and take advice from anyone.  We should never think that we are superior to anyone and refuse his/her advice.

This reminds me of a story of a learned scholar who was bombarded by a few robbers one day.  They were about to walk away with his books filled with sacred knowledge.  He told them that they could take anything but his books.  One of the robbers said to him, “What use is knowledge hoarded in books if it is not held within the mind?”  The scholar was amazed and thanked Allah for the realization that you can learn from anyone.

The same man whose wife was having a C-section kept smiling at me during the actual surgery and comforted his wife throughout.  When his baby was born he spoke to me second after his wife.  I gave him a thumb’s up and he commented on how his newborn son is going to go to a great school and have a great upbringing.  I smiled.  He ignored the nurses and doctors and told me that, a mere student.  Even the resident student gave me a confused look: ”Why is he so friendly with you?”  It was amusing, and I felt special.

I later told him, “It was great meeting you.”  He wished me good luck with the future.

I remember walking out of the hospital that day in a bewildered state that I had just bonded with an ex-jail convict.  He was a great person, mashAllah.

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, General by Hifzin114 /
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My mom thinks that he is dealing with the “empty nest syndrome”. She thinks he is also down because he no longer works, and the only kid in the house to keep him entertained is me, which is not that good considering that I am 21 years old. (haha)

Anyway, I thought to myself: this is a GREAT time to clean out the garage since my dad is oblivious to a lot of things nowadays. He has piles and piles of books in there that no one reads. He has refused to get rid of them for as long as I can remember, and although he used to say once in a while “OK, I will give the books away,”…it just never happens. Speech is easier than practice.

So I started delving into the books. My mom and I have already managed to get rid of about 100. But, there are at least several hundred more to go.

That was when I opened up a textbook that belonged to my dad. There were markings ALL OVER the book. Copious notes, diagrams, numbers, underlining…I was surprised out of my mind. My dad doesn’t read anything now, except for the Quran and a few others of his favorite Islamic books. He spends most of his time sitting down on the sofa doing dhikr, staring into space, and recalling precious memories he had as a youth in Guyana. Sometimes he mentions college but I usually zone out at that point…(I know I’m bad).  It is hard for me to have a normal conversation with my dad.  Sometimes he doesn’t respond and sometimes he just doesn’t understand what I am saying.  I treat my dad like a grandpa.

Anyway, I looked at the book and I felt like I was looking into the life of a stranger, a person I never knew before. I’ve seen pictures of my dad in college, but never had I seen anything like this. I wondered what kind of student my dad was. He was definitely a nerd, considering his major (electrical engineering). He was a professor for a while too. My dad rarely discussed what he taught with me, I was too young anyway.

I looked at the book and I thought, “Wow, here is a part of my dad’s life I never knew.” Imagine him in college, cramming for a test, running to catch a bite with his friends, pulling an all nighter…my dad? Wow.

I started to get sad. I put the book down and walked to the living room. There was my dad sitting in the same spot he always sits, reading something. Alhamdulillah I don’t have a couch potato dad. My dad looks so wise when he wears his huge glasses and pours over his book.

Anyway, the point of this post: honor and respect your parents. You may not get along with them, you may not understand them, but we can learn from them. They all went through the same stuff as us, they all had their share of the pain and suffering that comes along with youth. They once felt the same excitement and desire for adventure that the youth feels on a daily basis. There are mysterious stories within our parents’ lives that we don’t know about, and if we did, we would honor and respect them more. Alhamdulillah Allah has given me the chance to live with my parents at this age and to be able to serve them.  But, I am absolutely horrible at taking advantage of this opportunity.  InshAllah, from now, I am going to try and build bridges with my dad.

Maybe in between the mundane requests he has (button his sleeve collar, tell him the time, allow him to drop me to school) I can gain some of his wisdom just from being in his presence.

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom by Hifzin114 /
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“You will continue to be healthy as a society as long as you have degrees of excellence, but should you all become the same, you will be destroyed.”
-Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)

 Each one of us is unique, special, differentiated. Each one of us is a reflection of God’s creativity, His power, and His beauty. A person who is extremely generous is a sign pointing to the Generosity of God. After all, Allah blew the ruh (spirit) into us when we were created. This spirit is pure and unadulterated. It is through this spirit that we are compelled to get closer to God and are one with humanity. Through the following of the ruh, one becomes so close to God that He says about His servant, “I become the hearing with which he hears, his sight with which he sees, his hand with which he seizes, and his foot with which he walks.”

 We meet people and we get astounded by their personality traits: humor, beauty, leadership, charisma, serenity, warmth, friendliness. This is a way of Allah presenting to his creations as how HE is…Allah is the infinite source of perfect beauty, warmth, friendliness, charisma, etc..  A person’s beauty, charisma, etc is NOTHING compared to God’s.

 Thus, we must use the talents and blessings God has bestowed upon us and share it with others. If we have charisma, we should sharpen and better our speaking skills, and speak to bring others close to Allah. If we have warmth, we should seek out people who are distrought and help them through their afflictions. If we have an affinity with animals, we should protect animals for the sake of Allah and teach about them to others. In this way we are also teaching them about the creations of God and His Infinite Wisdom.

Voice. This is a talent that is appreciated by many in modern times. There is a reason why everyone does not have a good voice, it is because God wants us to appreciate it more by placing it upon a few. The huge mistake humans fall into is when they think that the beautiful voice comes from them. NOTHING good comes from us; all is a manifestation of God’s power. A good voice is a temporary gift from God that He can take away from us at any moment.

Therefore, if one has a good voice, they should use this talent to bring others to Allah.  They should perfect their Qirat and learn to sing Nasheeds to bring happiness to others and attract others to the deen. And then they should realize that it is not them that is bringing people to the deen, but GOD who is. 

The list of talents is endless: organization, acting, debate, art, music, athletic ability, physical strength, logic, …and on and on forever.  The slippery slope begins when people praise those who have these talents instead of the source.  Just as much as we credit those who have worked tirelessly to perfect their talents, we must praise the Creator of the talent itself.

My advice to you: find your passion and talents…perfect them…improve them.  Then share them with others; utilize your talent to bring others close to Allah, to remind them of their Creator.

May Allah grant us the ability to do this, and may He allow us to perfect the blessings and talents he has already placed within us.  Ameen.

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom, General by Hifzin114 /
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A story to ponder over that I received in my e-mail:

Prophet Sulayman (pbuh) in response to his special prayer to God was granted Kingdom and was given power over the forces of nature, over the Jinns and men and devils and other living creatures. He was also endowed with knowledge of their language and could easily communicate with them.

Prophet Sulayman (pbuh) once was sitting on the bank of a lake deeply engrossed in the beauties of nature around and appreciating the various forms of Allah’s creation on earth.

Suddenly Prophet Sulayman (pbuh)’s attention was drawn towards an ant creeping forward with a grain of wheat in its mouth. As it reached near the water, a tortoise came out, opened its mouth and the ant crept into it. The tortoise closing its mouth disappeared under the water. After a while, the tortoise again sprung out of the water and standing on the bank opened its mouth and the ant came out. But this time it had no grain of wheat in its mouth.

Prophet Sulayman (pbuh) became anxious to know what had been happening under water. On inquiring, the ant explained that at the bottom of the lake was a stone, and underneath it lived a blind ant. Allah had created it there and because of blindness, it could not move about. The ant further said that I have been appointed by Allah to provide its daily sustenance with the assistance of the tortoise and hence, I do perform this duty everyday.

Let us ponder over one thing. If a tiny creature like an ant living under a stone at the bottom of a sea is not denied its sustenance, why should man the noblest of all creatures ever suspect loss of his sustenance from Almighty Allah? Isn’t it foolishness to dirty one’s hand in prohibited transactions for earning one’s livelihood? Such persons do not get more, than what is destined and earn Allah’s Wrath and Punishment in the Hereafter.

Moral: Allah (SWT) is Ar Razzaq. He is our Provider and we should always have faith in Him and trust Him in all our Affairs.

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom by Hifzin114 / Tags: Tawakkal

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