Suffocation and Close-Mindedness: Part 2 January 31, 2010 at 10:02 pm
The point of my last post was that I was finding it hard to tolerate narrow-mindedness. I think this toleration is getting easier, mostly because of the amazing adab people display. Manners and character go a very, very long way. But here are the examples of closed minds that I have a hard time fathoming:
Materialistic people who cannot burst out of their bubbles: They are driven by the brand-name fashion industry in which they cannot leave and realize that there are much more important matters to be worrying about. Instead of acquiring a PhD to make a difference, they are bubbling with excitement about the future car they want to buy along with their entire coach collection of purses. Some of these people complain that they cannot stand it when their parents or scholars of Islam tell them what to do…then why are they allowing a bunch of men who control the fashion industry to influence their minds and tell them what to wear?
The person who is bound to their culture by every thread. I have no problem with this person unless they begin to demean people of other cultures and criticize others who choose to marry outside of their culture. Yes. I have heard (through secondary sources) that people have called my brother a “wannabe Arab” after he married a girl who traces her roots back to Yemen. There is a line in the Quran where God says that he created people into different tribes and cultures so that we may learn from each other. What better way for inter-cultural exchange and harmony than to marry people from a different culture? A partner for marriage (in my opinion) is someone with which you have a harmonious, mutual understanding in the views that mean the most to you. If I find this harmony in a person of a different culture or race, then by all means I will consider him. I am also disappointed when people place priority on culture over religion. The stigmas and ideologies developed by men through a culture can never outweigh the divine sources of religion.
Finally, people who are not willing to accept or even consider religious viewpoints that are different from their own. I have countless of examples for this, but I will list only a few. Intelligence to me is something that grows over time. If one is stuck in a certain ideology, or in an ideology that inherently inhibits growth, then I will begin to feel suffocated. The Quran is a guidance to all men for eternity. This means that its guidance will oversee many eras of culture, fashion, governance, music, food etc. This does not mean that the fashion, food, and culture that existed during the time of the prophet is superior to all others! What is superior during the Prophet’s time was the Muslims’ character, knowledge, manners, and intimacy with God. As long as a Muslim is covering the necessary areas of their body with modest clothing, I do not think that their intimacy with God is limited by their failure to wear a black abayah and niqab (face-covering). The Quran did not come down to turn humanity into robots-it came to guide us into realizing that everything that exists is a proof of God and His oneness-including the culture, fashion, and food that changes throughout time. I have no problem with niqab, I just have a problem with those who believe that to not wear it is restricting their relationship with God.
Of course this is an extreme example, but this “niqab” is a symbol for ideologies too. My cousin-in-law told me once that he was criticized for playing basketball because it was a biddah (innovation) and had no place in the Quran and Sunnah. This is ridiculous and sad at the same time. One of my favorite scholars said that the reason so many Saudi youth are turning to “western” music is because their own display of musical creativity (Nasheeds, Qasidahs, etc) is being shunned in their land as a biddah, thus they have no means to express it except though foreign music.
Another example of this close-mindedness happened recently after a conference. The conference had different sessions: one discussing the socio-psychological perspective of Islam, one discussing the political perspective of Islam, another discussing the spiritual perspective of Islam, and another discussing business marketing and how to use it to improve the west’s understanding of Islam. A lot of my friends went. At first I heard many criticisms about the atmosphere because it was not gender segregated and did not offer a lot in terms of Islamic knowledge. Then however, I heard a completely different perspective. My own cousin and his wife told me how much they enjoyed it, and another one of my good friends said it was amazing. When I told them about the initial criticisms, they were shocked and said that the quality and comprehensiveness of the conference outweighed the fact that it was gender-mixed. In fact, men and women sat in clusters so it was not completely mixed. Conclusion: do not let a petty discomfort prevent you from benefiting from something larger and substantial.
These are three main qualities that I have difficulty coming to terms with. However one of my friends told me that you should NEVER hold antipathy towards a person who says something hurtful. What you should hold antipathy towards is the statement that was made. This is beautiful.
At the end of the day, everyone is raised differently and has different experiences that make them who they are. Maybe I need to learn to open my mind, too.
I definitely agree, our relationships with Allah SWT are most certainly not limited to our dress. However, it is important to note that many scholars possess different (valid) opinions. For example, I also do not hold the opinion that niqab is Fard but rather that it is mustahhab, however we must still recognize that the opinion that it is Fard is a valid opinion, just as our opinion that it is not Fard is valid. Everything we do is attached to a symbol of ideology that we may or may not be in accordance with, from beards to the way hijabs are styled to niqabs to abayas to khimars. Somebody who accuses another Muslimah of lacking a relationship with Allah SWT because they do not cover their face is very hypocritical, if that person knew anything about our deen, they would know that only Allah SWT knows the true relationship between the slave and The Master.
I also completely agree with your take on materialism, it is like a disease; an ever-growing tumor expanding over the body of our Ummah every second, these are the mechanisms of Shaytan al-Rajeem, to make us glorify what is on this world so much that we forget how many billion times greater the rewards are of the Next Life. May Allah protect us all!
Yes, you are completely right. I have to accept that there are valid opinions out there that may or may not agree with my own. I admit I became a bit down when people who mean a lot to me do not hold the same opinion as me. This is selfishness on my part, maybe even some arrogance!
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