Eye of the Soulstorm

Be careful what you preach to others…most of the time you will be afflicted with the same trial. God is The Just. If you write an article about avoiding the temptations of…let’s say…gender-mixed informal gatherings, don’t be surprised later on if you are being strongly tested in the same manner.  This may be God’s way of…testing how well you follow your own advice!

I remember I used to walk around when I was young and inwardly mock at people who could not control their emotions and gave into certain peer pressures. I remember hearing people say, “Why do people allow themselves to develop feelings for a person?”  “I know!”  I would say in complete agreement.  I was naive and arrogant.

As college life continued, I witnessed strong-willed and extremely practicing Muslims fall captive to their emotions.  I realized that I cannot hold everyone to a certain expectation if there are knowledgable people with good adab who fall captive to the same thing.  I realized:

1. We do not know someone’s circumstance
2. No one is raised with the same morals and values.  In fact, there are some Muslim parents who actually want their children to date before marriage.
3. A lot of problems in one area may cause someone to collapse and fall into sin in another area.  For example: people lose jobs+ money; they resort to alcohol.  Obviously this is haram, but they never would have taken alcohol if their jobs were secure.  The same can be said about dating.  A person who has no relationship with their parents (or has a parent that recently died), may find companionship and affection in a haram relationship.
4. The halal arena can turn bad.  (People start off with good intentions and plan events for the sake of Allah, during which they are totally clueless that they are developing feelings.  Another example: The halal formal atmosphere has turned into a doubtfully halal, informal atmosphere.  Again, the members are oblivious to the disintegrating atmosphere…and the states of their hearts.)
5. Some people just don’t know what the right thing to do is.  I remember a Muslim guy in my high school was actually surprised when I told him that men and women cannot date before marriage.
6. Some people hang out with the wrong crowd, and are intimidated by the “pious” Muslim crowd.

Now if I see a sister crying over a broken and confused heart…I am going to be much, much more compassionate.

Khalid Latif once said, you have to befriend someone first before you attempt to change them.  What does this entail?  You have to find qualities in the person that you like.  You have to understand their upbringing and personality.  Then, this may be the most effective way to change their perspective or behavior.

Posted in: Advice & Wisdom by Hifzin114 /